part of me wants to be seven and careless.
part of me wants to be back in your bed.
part of me wants to be forty and settled.
part of me wants to be dead.
"what if your plants want to kill themselves but you keep on watering them?"
a part of yesterday’s dream on my dream diary (that freaked me out)
On suicide watch. My psychologist wants me to go to hospital but my psychiatrist is on leave and she doesn’t have the authority to involuntarily commit me. Have to take my xanax/valium daily from now on, I am in a drugged stupor.
Psychologist has told me my priority now is to reduce suffering. Suffering = pain+non-acceptance of reality. Accept your reality, including pain and distress, to reduce suffering.
I don’t think I have it in me right now to accept my reality, when my reality is basically that I want to die.